Getting reconnected…

April 5, 2010

I tried to use sleep as a sedative, as a means of forgetting, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t enter the world of R.E.M. I just couldn’t find that peaceful place.

I realized that I was faced with my loneliness – a loneliness so much colder and bitter then the weather outside. I realized I can no-longer retreat into that often visited place of denial – a place where I am afraid of facing that ‘difficult conversation’ and avoid facing the tiger.

I needed to be honest with my family. I needed to be honest with my friends. I needed to be honest with myself.

So what did I do today? I picked up my Dad’s guitar. I tuned it. I played it. I sang.

I played for over an hour today. I sang the same songs over and over again. The funny thing is, the songs didn’t get boring. I was living in the moment. I was enjoying being where I was. I was having fun. I was getting reconnected.