Someone once asked me, ‘how can we be with anyone, if we don’t know know how to be with ourselves?’ It is an interesting question. Have you thought of it? I have been wrestling with this question and with being alone.

Is loneliness an art? One must be able to perfect the art of loneliness on his/her journey towards happiness. Am I able to perfect the art of loneliness? I don’t think I will be able to perfect being alone, but what I can do, is practice being alone.

At first glance, one may ask, ‘why would you want to be alone? The questions isn’t a simple one and the answer itself is not linear. The question has taken me on a journey of sorts, a journey of self-discovery and at times self-loathing, but through this journey, I found the value of ‘emptying my bowl’ and in being present.

I’d like to think that unlike the experience Eleanor Rigby – loneliness can have a beautiful side. Perhaps a little less Hugh Hefner in the art of happiness and a little more Picasso in the art of loneliness.
Foot Bridge

Getting reconnected…

April 5, 2010

I tried to use sleep as a sedative, as a means of forgetting, but it didn’t work. I couldn’t enter the world of R.E.M. I just couldn’t find that peaceful place.

I realized that I was faced with my loneliness – a loneliness so much colder and bitter then the weather outside. I realized I can no-longer retreat into that often visited place of denial – a place where I am afraid of facing that ‘difficult conversation’ and avoid facing the tiger.

I needed to be honest with my family. I needed to be honest with my friends. I needed to be honest with myself.

So what did I do today? I picked up my Dad’s guitar. I tuned it. I played it. I sang.

I played for over an hour today. I sang the same songs over and over again. The funny thing is, the songs didn’t get boring. I was living in the moment. I was enjoying being where I was. I was having fun. I was getting reconnected.